The Sentient Meat Crafting illusory Identities


I’m overwhelmed in most crowds. A daunting stroke of everyone chipping away at my personal claim for sentience engulfs and consumes the hitherto fine rhythm. To infect me as it seems, with foreign DNA and spread their own selves beyond the boundaries of their physical origin. Akin to a pop-up ad with a primary objective to gain access to my mind, occupy and exploit the precious resources of computation my senses voluntarily invite. In conversation we actively filter perception and discriminate information and thus there is at least partial control over what we choose to assimilate. Obtrusive thoughts may have a similar effect, as if these brain worms have their own views on what the purpose of the colony ought to be. Meditation comes to mind - an obtrusive thought par excellence.


Excluding the facetious type only, arrogance has an unconscious element seated firmly within it's fundaments. When someone acts with unwarranted confidence or overbearing pride, it is as if they know not what they do, because a type of ignorance, an incomplete picture of reality blinds them. External cues indicating the way they are perceived are not always sufficient even to plant a seed of doubt.
To be arrogant of something then, is to lack knowledge therein. And we cannot intend to behave a certain way unless we are fully conscious of what it entails.


Relieving our affliction by alleviating the hardships of the have-nots is merely spreading the conditions that substantiate it. Who gives us the right to trade in the problems of others and imbue them with our own? Need prime directive like yesterday.


I refuse to dabble in a forensic analysis of the past by myself, let alone with a third party. Chiefly due to the ‘facts’ being impossible to agree upon more often than I’d like, because 'information' put forward has been stored within a highly unreliable medium, not to mention the twists emotions tend to add to memories, turning the actual events into an insidious parody.


If I don’t get things I want, only what I deserve. Does wanting more than I deserve create a sort of paradox? And is honesty then an attempt to fulfil it?


The object of ritual (sacrifice) is to secure full life and to escape from evil.... A. M. Hocart

Thus rituals however egregious and costly, provide hope. Where as the alternative would be peril. An individual must perform this bizarre dance of the zeitgeist or risk being immediately ostracised. And society as a whole, must continually generate new rituals, as misguided as those may be at times, for even sacrifice of fellow organisms pales in comparison to the vacuous existence with nothing worthy to control or cling onto. Or worse yet.. soggy nachos.


Birds are singing for me right outside my window. I hear it obviously, but I feel it with my tummy also. That, and such a tranquil warmth, it must be due to the onset of the morning. I read once there is a single word in Swedish that denotes ‘’getting up early in the morning to listen to the birds chirping’’. In such moments even the lightness of being is bearable. Just letting you know that saddened for me, you mustn’t be. And so good and very long it must..


A hippie doesn’t love nature, he is preoccupied by the nature ‘fetish’.
Nature is wild and unpredictable.
Painted walls are our friends.


"There may be centres in the brain that are especially active in the organisation and perception of free will. One appears to be located within or at least close to the anterior cingulate sulcus, on the inside of a fold of the cerebral cortex. Patients who have sustained damage to the region lose initiative and concern for their own welfare. From one moment to the next they focus on nothing in particular, yet remain capable of reasoned responses when pressed."

A shortcut to nirvana?


Postmodernism (constructionalism) rests on the premise, that there is no 'real' reality, no one 'truth', in so forth negating itself.

Postmodernism expressed more explicitly still in deconstruction. Each author's meaning is unique to himself, goes the underlying premise. The text is therefore open to fresh analysis and commentary issuing from the equally solipsistic world in the head of the reviewer. The reviewer is in turn subject to deconstruction, as well as the re- viewer of the reviewer, and so on in infinite regress. As expressed in "There is nothing outside the text" by Jacques Derrida. At least, that is what I think he meant. If the radical postmodernist premise is correct, we can never be sure what he meant.


I’ve murdered a bug. A winged one.
I kill for fun. Fun and glory.


Suicide as the means for change strikes me as a lazy endeavour. Irrational at best. And I can conceive of suicide as a rational end whereas in a moment of epic clarity - concerning the void of meaning in the position a human creature finds itself - one can transgress his programming of being without any negativity, so often associated with suicide. It would simply make sense.

It’s quite clear that if one intends to push a particular ideology the furthest, suicide is simply lazy. In a human’s life-span, fleeting as it may be, given that our ideological crusader is driven, he could conceivably push the ‘issues’ further by staying alive.


My body is a fartland. A fart factory.
I make nice and honest farts.
Farts thick with strength of hardy inner labor, for ALL to enjoy.


Verksiu ant tilto tris naktis be paklodes.
Vakar sutemo anksciau po tiltu.
Ir susitepe paklode - 0 emociju.


Fire not only does not walk with you..
Fire goes through excruciating manoeuvres to avoid ever taking your sloppy path 2nds.


It is said that one cannot put a baby in a corner. Yet I did it.


A large portion of us conceive the means of deriving meaning through the social and cultural mandate. Conventional ‘truths’ such as: work enriches the soul, the common good, altruism are quite pervasive and are perhaps necessary to retain order within large populace. Some are endorsed by or constrained in the direction of evolutionary residue as well - bonding with the similarly-minded or genetically suitable members of the herd being the prime example.
Distinct as these two forces may be, they are undoubtedly linked in the pursuit of meaning. Both represent a dependency on the path that is largely uncontested and more importantly spontaneous (in a sense that it requires no expense in energy or work). The terms such as ‘the system’ emerges, further exemplifying the isolation that the sources of meaning production are suffering from in terms of variety.

Seeing that we are permanently pinned within our own isolated minds, unable to breach the barriers into the ones of others, this seems as slightly absurd and certainly arbitrary mode.
Someone who’s onto it has potentially unrestricted access to resources - through a simple reversal of aforementioned ‘systemic imperatives’ to name the easiest example - thus gaining a palpable advantage.
It is in the light of this, that we should wonder wether the uneven distribution of sociopathic behaviour exhibited by those in the positions of the highest socio-economic standing are not a result of their innate predispositions, but an example of the inevitable systematic breeding towards their development.


What is a view and why does it please us so? Anything from a point high up.
Tiny details are lost on most of us most of the time. And so the quantity of large objects seen from a distance passes as a substitution.
A mirage of specificity. An ideal of complexity and vastness we gladly inflate with the weighty substance of our own.


If the goal is of legitimate interest and meaning, I imagine, the drudgery that is required to reach it, can be infused with zeal and awareness of necessity, that transforms simple tasks into something that drives people's persistence and determination in the first place. And I doubt that this, something, could be boredom.


Surely we have developed an array of highly sophisticated, benevolent MOs to undermine the dualistic nature of the human creature.
Yet we refuse to dispose any conceptual insights that permeate beyond the proverbial flourishing?
Must be nice.
Culture, culture come and get me.. get me good.


The generational split and the nostalgia of 'the good-ol'-days' stem from the inability of the older generation to perceive that the ideologies have altered and the impotence to comprehend the new ones, which then triggers the automatic assault on the 'new ways’, as those threaten preexisting existential projects by mere prevalence. 
At least in the industrialised versus peasant societies, where skills are transferred gen by gen and improved without a necessary shift in ideology.

In fact the things and actions may remain identical, but a novel approach or the demeanour they are performed in alone, can cause ideological discomfort and thus contempt towards the coming of 'fresh blood'.


Strip all the contents of every state of my consciousness and shove it up my ass, thereby concluding the ego-tripping session.


Striking a balance in friendships, so the selfish motives that fuel them come to be imperceivable to both parties, is the disguised attribute of all competent human intercourse.


If we make progress in hardware - we make progress in brain scanning.
If we make progress in brain scanning - we make progress in brain reverse engineering.
If we make progress in brain reverse engineering - we make progress in AI.

What we have here is hardware progress interlinked with software progress - the most transforming capacity for creatures that are self-aware.
Once we have achieved AGI the world will hit the pipe.

You have to be very lucky to get anywhere close to exploiting the 'maximum' human experience that the present time has to offer. It may appear as if ‘ the best', ‘good’, ‘bad' are just what we, experiencing creatures made up; it is circumstantial, arbitrary. We did so, I imagine, because self-awareness responds so strongly to emotions (joy - G, sad - B, boring - B, interesting - G, etc) mainly to alleviate suffering.
However this is precisely where we may obtain the objectivity of value. It is the framework of the biological experiencing creature that sets up the scales. 

Self-awareness is not perfect, it is flawed by design. Say my experiencing companion says something utterly dull and pointless, I may respond sarcastically: ‘well said' or try to develop that experience more constructively, but that's not what is happening  necessarily. I may just as well say: '...’ or go destructive depending on the heroic forces of my personality. Social norms are a string, though these are here to suit the needs of groups of organisms, they are themselves not necessarily moving towards the better experience for a human agent. They merely progress towards.. something.

Is it better to have less pain? Is it better to live around clean air? Is it better to experience a lot?
Not necessarily, we are simply guided and steered by evolutionary principle to survive and ‘’what is not necessary is approaching meaning zero’’.

Consciousness selects for better experiences that would serve its survival. Evolutionary principles guide us, never the less we progress neutrally as we move in time. Thus progress is a broad concept. And so is time. As broad as the understanding of them, or the not understanding. We are prejudiced by design, by the laws of our containment.

We walk around the playground and tests our hypothesis: observe > develop scenarios > act > reflect and repeat.
These are the 'tools of coping’.

Although ‘’How pointless!’’ appears as the most appropriate response to the way the universe largely just IS, 'IS' is just another EXPERIENCE. An experience of understanding ‘IS' is only as profound as the UNDERSTANDING or the amount of understanding itself amounts to. 
For example one could say that you 'are no less wether you are self-aware or just a speck of dust in space, you are merely larger and more ordered assembly of information. You ARE no more than the dust IS. But that is limited. We can and have done better. But here’s the irony: once we come to grasp the rules of our containment and transgress it, objectivity goes out through the window. The quest for certainty grants uncertainty.


Why can't a pedophile have a long term relationship?
Yea.. entropy.


<< Psychedelics are always inspirational >>, I heard someone say.

In an attempt to restrain from absolutes.

Conventional constructs collapse on psychedelics. The concept of self being separate from the world for one (a certain part(s) of the brain responsible for this particular task is/are disrupted)  – I would speculate, this is why people feel ‘ONE-with-the-universe' on shrooms so often.

Therewith, one is free to 'reconstruct'.
Whether the reconstruction holds any value or is a 'better explanation’ varies alas..

Disintegration of constructs paves the way towards awareness (a liberation from inherited patterns), nevertheless if one is not lucky enough to construct something better to replace the olden ones with, it could deliver but short lived (as brief as the duration of the drug effect, or simply false) epiphanies. Thus tripping does not BREED awareness necessarily. 

Once the utility functions become clear and solidify,  methods and structural order follow. As one attains considerable freedom, his or her behavior may appear lavish to those still constricted – imagine the first lady putting them pants on –. However, upon closer investigation, few could honestly dismiss their own chains, in light of said liberation.

Then there is confidence. I'd like to compare it to existential/identity CRISIS. For someone in their 20s, the simplest cure is to go out there and gain some existential/identity CAPITAL.
Withal confidence, important as it may be, falls short of what I'm describing.
Hunger for external rewards should naturally diminish or at least shift, to draw from those or that, which has attained a higher utility.

People often be actin' in complete fervor confronted by a confident person. Those affected by baseless confidence just don't bother to look (as denoted by lower utility), by itself confidence is worthless in the eyes of those that do. In fact what is confidence if not a bizarre evolutionary relic, comparable to puffing up of feathers. A mirage that cannot be trusted to reflect efficasy to any degree of accuracy.

All this growth and striving for betterment and development is not so much a state as a process of increasing order (information).
It would be difficult to reduce it to something like an ideology, because it is simply the path life on earth has taken, written in decipherable history of our species. Progress towards order - from carbon, to protein molecules, to information compression in DNA, to opposable thumb, to virtual internet limbs.  

To outthink our adversaries and to manipulate the environment better is the trend for survival today as much as it ever was.

There is NO purpose, everyone is welcome to make it up in spite of that. We advance despite of pointlessness.
Sentience came about by chance, just ponder what might come about by sentience.


Isn't it dreary that we substitute proper reading with fiction?

It's as if we would rather escape into a world of fantasy, for the reality is so gruesome, as opposed to delving into that, which uncovers the truths within bona fide reality. The truths that may be incorporated into making that very actuality increasingly bearable. Seems a little backwards, does it not?

The world seems boring for some, complex for others and we head for the hills, into a simpler, professedly colourful one. If one aches for a more imaginative outlook, shouldn’t he or she learn how to digest and interpret the world we live in first and foremost? Why are we to be dependent on the authors of fiction to lend colour with fatuous entities?

By escaping into fiction, we limit reach, we deprive ourselves an opportunity to gain experience (Latin for ‘try’). Let's instead acquire the tools to be whimsical daily in the world that is and a occurs.


As if every other tiny thing has its own awesome revelation to offer.
A fruit begging to be picked and eaten, its quintessential truth-juice teasing to burst.

The commonplace consecutive thought 1, thought 2, thought 3 type of order and the interrelation amidst is gravely disrupted if not completely disposed of, which as it turns out, can prove to be quite distressful.


Ech, and for WHAT?
Let us fortify ease by shrewd conformity.
Such are the pitfalls of nebulous perspective and acts of carnality.


Associative machinery in.
Capacity of basic reasoning and analysis out.
It’s a valve, it’s a valve, it’s a valve.


Yet attempting to bind ghosts of the units of life.
Identity capital may or may not ensue.
Suspended on reality.
Garnering proof on make-shift basis.


Illusory self you say?
Which point of view is this illusion perceived from exactly?


Shoes 'talk' to our phones, measure your heart rate and post burned calories, on Facebook.
An unremarkable reality of today.
As silicon shrinks and neuroscience advances it’s feasible to imagine having your 
brain monitored by a device in your pocket.
You’re in a gallery.
A certain piece induces a contemplative thought process or coaxes a certain emotion. Neat, yet quite vague.
The interpretation is encumbered by anthropomorphic mistakes, that is why the
value of art is so ambiguous.

Particular orders of neural-firings, could be linked to a multitude of desirable effects upon a person. The data computed and a particularly ‘neurally-poignant’ work of art ‘upvoted’. A quantifiable scheme.
An objective method democratise art and elevate exposure of hitherto ambiguous subliminal impact.


This pain, this joy, this grief, the brevity of thought as transient as the stream of atoms assembling us.


Stainless execution of irony is the chief enemy of the 'boy who cried sincerity’.


Language is the reason behind the human reign. It brought the faculty to gather knowledge of the external, the competence to manipulate virtually everything around us.
Alas it obstructs our vision for what really makes us move. Unaware of our motives and relentlessly telling stories to ourselves. 
The self-knowledge is altogether tiny and fragile, and it's very well possible simpler organisms trumps us there.


Familiarity breeds comfort.
Obscurity lessens with the increase of the level of exposure.
Welcome to the slimy zoo of grey goo.


If we are the way for the Universe to know itself,
Art is the way for the society to know itself.


The totality of modality.
It is a staged race, YAWN.


Say one does good, for he believes God (karma, the law of attraction etc) rewards and punishes in accordance.
Is an atheist then, not more virtuous, for he behaves in high morals unencumbered of said anticipation?
Is he not a more astute believer than the men of faith?
For he, who embarks from an understanding of the inherent void, to have adjusted his conduct and hunger for the betterment of all, is not self evident?


“I am responsible for what I say. I am not responsible for what you understand.”

As long as you absolutely must open your mouth for anything at all, no less than a sensible attempt to communicate your point across is to be expected.
Association & relevance is your responsibility as much as the subject matter.


The self is vague due to virtually unlimited opportunities in the 1st world. 
Disillusioned yet deceptive cadence of the zeitgeist grants shoddy identities.


As for the flameful,
I am prepared to have this face burnt.
I have me a back-up,
A back-up dice.
A back-up face inside a fire-proof pocket.


For what it's worth, misery on the screen assists acceptance of my personal shitshow.
I shift into the gear of ambivalence at the first sign of pain.
A film can make a big deal out of something and see to it’s fruition without looking away.


I chase-read with myself.
The left eye is habitually granted a head-start.


As an immersive topic is being exhausted and commences into disquieting chit chat yada yada yap, meta-cognitive analysis, unsolicited as it may be, seldom fails to peak its snotty head out.


Dear ladies and gentlemen, your air will be switched off during the take off and landing. The passengers who wish to continue breathing, well be offered respiratory masks for 9.99. Specially designed for all your breathing needs. The remaining passengers are kindly asked to take a very deep breath.


Nature over nurture?
Raise an Antichrist I shall.
A palm leaf retained the patterns of my fingerprints for 3 millennia.
A number this round is hardly a coincidence.
 - Rosemary, where's my Bieber mask?


I wonder about a place or a situation yearning for a certain pleasing engagement to take me out of the currency. Always in whereabouts the most unlikely to posses anything of the kind.


The Astonishing slowness of the trees.
Double helixes, the language of the living.
Leaving a spectral signature levelled within the proposed machinery.